The first week of school is student-free; we spend it in meetings and sessions where we break out from a big group into small groups and discuss many important things.
Someone has to be the presenter and someone else is the writer-downer on a big white pad of paper. Everyone yells out ideas as the writer-downer says, "Wait, wait-say that again" or "maybe that should go in this column."
I got picked to be a presenter, but when my turn came up, I choked in front of all those people and just restated the original question as a statement instead. Some people nodded their heads, and the discussion coordinator squinted thoughtfully and said, "True, true.."
They moved on.
In the afternoon session, the school nurse showed us an instructional film about a medication called Diastat Acudial Rectal Delivery System.
The pretty spokesmodel in the video kept saying the entire name of the medication every time; it really disrupted the cadence of her speech and came across as forced and artificial.
Someone snickered when a simple drawing of a rectum appeared on the screen, and this made the school nurse angry. She paused the video and stood in front of us, red-faced.
"You guys, this is serious! Diastat Acudial Rectal Delivery System has saved lives. I have a student now who would probably be dead without it. It takes four people to get the medicine in him: one to spread the right buttock, one to spread the left buttock, one to hold his body steady, and one to insert the medication. It's not pretty, but it works." She sat back down.
I wondered if the person who had laughed felt guilty, but they were somewhere behind me so I could not scrutinize their face for traces of remorse. Maybe they were biting the inside of their cheek to keep themselves from finding the word "buttock" too hilarious.
The video started up again, and an unfortunate looking couple from Texas gave their testimonial about how well Diastat Acudial Rectal Delivery System works.
School is now under way.
Despite all my complaining, I am happy to be back in my old room and free from Ms.Pam.
I am not sure how much longer this blog will trudge along for, as just getting this post done was like pulling teeth, but hopefully I'll make it less then a month between updates.
Anyways, in the words of one of my new students, I like Taylor Swift, who wants to be my friend?