I figure my children are at the age now where their linear memory of events is starting to fall into place.
This means they will remember me from here on out, so it's time to start considering my legacy.
The long shadow I cast over their lives should be a smart one, so I let them find me reading tomes or standing around in quiet contemplation.
It's hard to sound much smarter then when you say 'yes' interrogatively. All the embarrassment you should be feeling is just kind of thrown back on the other person when you say, 'yes?' like that.
After writing this down, I felt uncertain of myself and said 'yes?' to the empty room around me. Far from making me feel smart, it made me feel crazy.
Having spent a life time being mistaken for a deep thinker, I feel I have perfected my stance of quiet contemplation.
When the weight of my thoughts becomes especially unbearable, it's time to put one hand on the wall for support.
This is how I want my children to remember me when I'm dead.
My wife does some things that really get in the way of my legacy, however.
She is kind of the Biff to my Willie.
Part of the problem is that when she sees a ridiculous dance or facial expression, she insists that I reproduce it for the amusement of the entire family.
Now I am not spineless, or lacking in self-determination, but when someone commands you to make an ass out of yourself, you do it. It's just how I was raised.
MANY YEARS LATER.......