Called on the dirty carpet

I got into some trouble at work.

I am not free to discuss every gritty detail, but let's just say it involved a push sweeper that several individuals consistently misidentified as a Swiffer product.

More specifically, it involved me not bringing it to the shoe store.

There was some real concern that the Swiffer was being underutilized, and this lead to a wider discussion about my interest in the work we do at that particular job site.

It was even proposed that bringing the Swiffer back and forth from the store to the classroom might be a problematic task for me.

I have no illusions about myself; I've got some problems.

Or as one of my more angst ridden students used to announce on a regular basis, "I've got pwoblems."

Just declaring that you have pwoblems does not excuse bad behavior.

However, it is in no way pwoblematic for me to transport a Swiffer that is not a Swiffer anywhere at all.

I genuinely enjoy walking around with a wobbly metal cleaning device that continually catches on things and changes my direction of movement.

 I am, however, really angry with the people that have questioned my ability to manage the near-overwhelming responsibility of dusting beneath Fergilicious brand knee high boots; the hard part comes when you have to put the boot back down.

Because a detailed breakdown of cleaning a shoe store could not be anything but fascinating, let me proceed.

Look at me there, all hard working and in command.

How could you question my dedication?

Watch how much patience I have: