Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Into yonder sunset I me go

Let's get down to brass tacks.

The IOS Application entitled "Talking Tom 2" has done more to reach my students than I ever have.

I have been rendered obsolete by cutting edge technology such as this.

In case you are not familiar with Tom, let me summarize by saying he is a virtual cat that repeats everything you say in a sped up, Chipmunk-style voice.

You can also buy him things with real money and slap his face.

Students who have never spoken before suddenly open up to this digital mimic, spilling out all the echolalia they have held inside themselves for so many years.

Why, just this morning, I repeatedly had to correct a student for whispering the word "asshole" for Tom to repeat.

I think school monies are best spent on devices for children to say 'asshole' to.

That's not really what is bothering me anyways, Teacher Lady.

Oh, not you, Brain....ever since you got on medication, you have vacillated between flat and boring or insufferably positive and extroverted.

Wherefore art my manic highs, my desperate lows?

Where hides the varied shades of melancholy, the tell-tale bulbous nose of a life o'er puffed with black bile?

Stop being so high functioning, you stupid brain.

Come back down to the ghetto with me...where it's warm and safe, and where the better blog posts are born.

Because Gweenbrick is getting a little STALE.

But if I give up on this, I have no creative outlet little square of me in which to retreat.

It's all poop and marriage.

Maybe I really have to come to the end, and it's time to jump ship....chuck it all, live off the grid...

And this blog slipped away forever into the restless heart of America.


  1. Are you on an adventure to pay homage to Michael Jackson?

    Or is there another Gary, somewhere that isn't Indiana, or possibly another reason to go there... ?

    (Sorry... my knowledge of midwestern states is nil. My only experience with the midwest is driving through it and bitching because there isn't an ocean or mountains and I'm a spoiled, entitled Californian.)

    Choo chooo!!

  2. I like the migration of teeth in this post.

    But then again, I just got my braces off, so the teeth may be fascinating only to me.

  3. If there's one thing I know, its hobos, and after the second scene with the hobo I could teLL he didn't like you, and I just knew he was gonna kick you out of his boxcar. So when you sleep, be careful. If you think you might be having a dream of flying out of a railroad car then it probably isn't a dream. I can't wait to find out what happens in Gary, Oklahoma.

  4. Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiaaaana my home sweet home! Ok, not really. I am a native Illinoisan. Just wanted to sing lyrics from "The Music Man." Please don't go wandering off to Gary. We would miss you terribly!

    Are you ok? High-functioning brains are actually kind of a good thing, mostly. Don't give up!

  5. Don't leave us!!!!!
    We'll be at your door with fire and pitchforks! (or at least in your comment section.....)
    90% of my blogs make me want to slip into a coma. But I keep doing it because every once in a while something funny comes out.
    Your "stale blog" = my favorite thing all week!!!

  6. This is not the end of this blog. You'll never be able to stay away. You need this. WE need this! DON'T YOU GO DYIN' ON ME GWEEN!

  7. Good thing I live in the heart of America.

  8. No! Gweenbrick still has some things he needs to do.
    Now if you're stopping writing because you're too busy, or you've become involved in a cult that prohibits cartoons, or if shutting down Gweenbrick is part of your parole conditions - well, that's one thing. But running out of ideas? Not good enough.
    If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me
    OOoooo, Brickie please don't go!


  9. Nope, it's too late, you can't leave us now. You've created a monster, a massive, faceless Internet-monster that demands constant entertainment. No pressure.

  10. No, Dude, no. You're too funny and your writing is too good. Find a way to make it work, commit to one post every two months if need be, but don't throw in the towel! You've got real talent, and your posts make me laugh so hard.

    Also, I work with autistic people and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't have one of your images pop into my head. Thanks (honestly) for that; it makes the time go faster!

    Please, don't stop!

  11. Get some rest, Gween. I think the lack of sleep is clouding your judgement. Darn babies.

  12. If you leave, I will do something totally drastic.

  13. Gweenbrick, you're so talented, your blog is my favourite. If you leave your blog (and all of us) then it had better be for greener pastures. It's fatherhood isn't it - baby taking all your creative energy? Or the drugs? I mean drugs taking all your creative energy not the baby taking all your drugs...
    Don't go - you will get somewhere with this.

    1. haha - hi Marianne! Not smart enough to take advantage of probably the opportunity to say 'gweener' pastures....hehehe

  14. You aren't really leaving us are you? There are so many tales left untold! You may not know what they are yet but when they come up you will wish you had this outlet to share it. You need some way to keep it from haunting your for life. Also, if you leave I will come looking for you.

  15. Yeah, WTF? I'm still waiting to see the end of the Japan story -- don't go wandering America yet. And besides if you're jealous of the talking cat and want someone to call you asshole and slap your face, I'll do it.

  16. There will be no end to Gweenbrick because I said so. So there!

  17. You know I can't let you slide through my hands, wild horses couldn't drag me away......wild horses we'llride them someday....

  18. I step away for a few days to start training for a marathon, and this happens? You really are going to let it croak. Come on! Please reconsider.