Monday, April 2, 2012

Gweenbrick tries the internet

HEY FRIENDS! I am trying to hook up with dudes who blog, so I am submitting this post to the Dude Write Starting Lineup! YAY for dudes covered in hair and feelings and stuff, and being all writey-writey on computers. I love hooking up with dudes.
Which is a sentence I created specifically to boost my stat traffic.

This past week I tried using the internet to make this blog explode with popularity.




I tried Reddit.







After that, I decided to actually figure out what people did on Reddit.





























video

























.....and Gweenbrick forgot all about his blog, and indeed, about the internet all together.

96 comments:

  1. You just gotta keep on keeping on. I do the drawing thing to entice people, but still many ignore me. And then I put them on a list... it's a mental list of people who make me sad. There are A LOT of people on it. And when I get my unicorn jumbo jet, they aren't allowed on it. Or maybe they can come on it but they certainly can't use the clean bathroom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Jrose!
      I actually did email Adam Ellis, but I sent it to the wrong email address!! And then I was too lazy to send it to the right one...
      I am wondering if i should put that info in the post itself, just so no thinks Adam is a bad guy or anything-he was just conveniently handsome for the purposes of this post

      Delete
  2. Am I actually getting first comment ?

    Blimey - insomnia finally pays off.
    And I have stumbled and gplussed you too.

    I think you owe me......

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the stumble and stuff, cowgirl! You can still be first...which is kind of a pointless thing for me to say

      Delete
  3. Ha ha ha - I thought I'd be second. Gawd Gweenbrick we love you. you do that thing, that magic thing - where you make people cry and laugh all at the same time.

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    1. Thanks Julie! Hopefully this post did not make you cry, though, as it was supposed to be pure silliness

      Delete
  4. Hahhaahh this is awesome. Reddit scares me too much to try...

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I didn't really get anywhere with it-thanks for reading, Gia!

      Delete
  5. I have never tried Reddit. I am not even sure what it is.

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    Replies
    1. Its where people post links and then comment on them. That's as far as I got

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  6. I tried Reddit.
    I don't "get" Reddit. And I'm pretty sure that's a Fail on my part, but I can't seem to muster enough energy to care.
    Reddit can suck it.

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    Replies
    1. The thing that made me curious about it was Hyperbole and a Half posted an update on her life on reddit-then I was told to suck it

      Delete
  7. That ban hammer looks like it stings a bit. Mental note jotted - No internet for me either.

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  8. Yea! Maybe I get to be comment number 1 with an eXtra 0 and 0 is like nothing.

    I stiLL wuv your stuFF.

    I have absolutely no idea what Reddit is. I wonder if I am s'ppose to care about it(?).

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    Replies
    1. I got a new frig today. I think I will settle for a 26 ft eXtension ladder.

      Delete
    2. Nah I wouldn't spend too much time caring about-extension ladders are more important

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    3. On the technical side of things, I noticed several pictures did not load onto my web page, there was just a question in the middle on a sporadic basis. Refreshing the browser didn't always fix it.

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    4. I wonder if it is because of the amount of pictures? My internet is very slow here, so I often have to right-click on a picture and tell it to load in a new tab-it is annoying

      Delete
  9. Reddit is like the barren confusing wasteland where I go to bury my Internet bodies. Forget that whole racket Pony Boy, you need only to remain golden or gween, or whatever the hell it is you are doing. Illustration + Personal hardship laced with comedic overtones = nuggets of goodness

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Dufmanno, I am glad you like my stuff!

      Delete
  10. Dear Gweenie-puss,
    With a scant 434 subscribers, I wonder what you are looking for in readers? I personally love this shit, and Carl Hungus can wank off... Dong Corleone can to! Perchance you are having a bad day, or are expecting world domination a'la animation [great 3 sec video- btw, I laughed, I cried, I peed a little] either way-

    In response, I will send you either:
    A) a hug
    OR
    B) a tampon

    BE easy on you, tenderoni!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I know, I am not really complaining-the whole thing stemmed from signing up for reddit and getting told to suck it-the rest is just being silly-I like to play up oversensitivity because it gives me ideas for posts.
      I am extremely fortunate to have as many readers as I do, and I know it!
      Pass on the tampon, though.
      I am glad you liked that animation-I poured my soul into it!

      Delete
    2. tampon AND a hug.
      I know I could use both as well!
      your lady deserves a hug too...

      Delete
  11. Lots of bloggers run Google checks on their names, to see who's posting about them, etc. You may have inadvertently directed him this way. (If he's real.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh it doesn't matter-I did try to email him one time, but I sent it to the wrong address-this post is more invention than anything, though my wife did think he was cute
      I have emailed a couple bloggers to get them to look at me, but I kind of think "why? do I want them to be my best friend? do I expect them to sing my praises?"
      I feel kind of silly doing it

      Delete
  12. Oh my gosh, that had me rolling - especially the line "no new email; you must be sad". Thanks for the chuckles!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks L! I am glad I could get a laugh out of you-thanks for reading!

      Delete
  13. Gweenbrick, such an awesome post! I presume you were just playing the sensitive line for amusement, and even though my logical mind told me not to be effected, I still was. Felt so bad for you curled up under the blanket! And then I laughed. And then I felt sad for you. And then I laughed some more. Good stuff! And brilliant little animation lol

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Bozo! I am a little bit thicker-skinned than I portray myself-but its fun to make myself into a total baby. Don't feel sad for gweenbrick! He is never happy...

      Delete
  14. "ASK HIM IF HE LIKES HUNGER GAMES!!!" Bahahaha! Nicely done.

    Pretending to be Bumblebee is a noble pursuit. Besides, who does this Adam guy think he is, anyway, with his polished illustrations and his coherent sentences that communicate his point in a witty fashion? He must be stopped.

    p.s. You just confirmed all my fears about Reddit. I am now convinced more than ever that if I go there I will be Internet-raped.

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    Replies
    1. I know! With his chiseled good looks and gobs of talent! Some people....

      Just don't make eye-contact on reddit, Haley

      Delete
  15. Success means that at some point, someone is going to dislike you. I don't know about you, but I'd almost rather blog in obscurity with people who like me reading, then get ginormous and have people go all meanypants. I am so sensitive I cried for days when someone pointed out a grammatical error. Not really. Not really DAYS, anyway.

    You are pretty awesome, I think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only one person has been mean to me so far... I'm okay with it.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Kelly! I don't think I want any meanypants...that sounds bad

      Delete
  16. I like emails.......
    I don't get them but I like them.
    That last frame is my very favorite. Hilarious!

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  17. Oh dear.I just published my email address right there. Blast. Teach me to ignore instructions....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Heather! You'll get lots of email now....
      I just read your big butt at the movies post last night-so funny!
      I loved your drawings of that lady stuck on your friends knee

      Delete
    2. Thanks for reading! It was more fascinating in person......

      Delete
  18. Just now I'm trying to come out of an Internet slump. All I can say is that you're a wonderful writer and pretty much everything you put on here makes me "LMAO" so keep on doin what you're great at!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Zoneout! I hope you climb out of your slump

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  19. Simply brilliant...as always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lily-are you on the letter C yet?

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  20. Maybe I should try that for my blog...as it turns out, posting links to Facebook don't get many views...who woulda thunk it?

    Awesome post as always :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Dorsey! You could try it...maybe you'll have better luck than me, just try to be clever-I think I failed that part

      Delete
  21. Ooh, Reddit doesn't like me either. Apparently I made it cry. Now it won't answer my internet tube.

    I think you beautifully encapsulated everyones sensitivity to criticism, although subsequent reactions differ. Some crawl under the bedclothes, some swear and make anonymous threats from their Mum's basement, and others try to set fire to telegraph poles in the insane belief that they carry the wireless signals from the nasty web-trolls and cider-bullies!

    It's part of life's learning experience, and the internet is now part of life. For instance, I have learnt that wooden telegraph poles are actually fireproof? Amazing.

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    1. Ha ha those damn telegraph poles, they think they are so superior-towering over everybody and everything. Now add fireproof and loonyproof on top of it. Those smug poles.

      Delete
  22. Gweebrick, I hate that you think you're so unpopular on the internet. Because you have a lovely following here and we always talk about how funny you are.

    You should open a facebook account, man. Or a twitter. I got loads of followers (not blogger followers, but facebookers & twitterers who check in daily) that way.

    And in terms of this post, blimey I loved it. Your wife sounds amazing.

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    1. Thanks eke! I don't really think it too much, I was kind of playing it up for the sake of this post-most of gweenbrick's emotions are amped up versions of my own.
      I have a facebook and a twitter, but I don't really do anything with them....guess I should get on that

      Delete
  23. Also the people of reddit can eat my poo for not liking you and bullying you.

    ReplyDelete
  24. That Adam guy, he's no big deal. He probably, umm, got loads of plastic surgery to look that hot, but I am not impressed. Also, I have a copy of that book your wife was reading in bed. I hope to be married to a large man someday.

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha that is a noble ambition you have NellieVaughn-if you move to the midwest, it would be like shooting fish in an barrel

      Delete
  25. It's OK. I have 1 follower for my blog and only 7 on twitter. Although there are a lot of women who have contacted me through twitter that ask me if I want a blow job, so there's that I guess. What's Reddit?

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    1. Oh I know, I am actually quite happy with my following-those women on twitter sound a little forward. Reddit is like "post a link, comment, comment post a link try and be witty/helpful" something like that

      Delete
  26. Here's just another comment saying the same stuff as everyone above. You're really great: funny, sad, witty, artistic, thoughtful, etc. I don't have a blog so I have no tips whatsoever on how to "help." Also, if Reddit was so nasty to you, I say "Get the behind me Satan!" and move on.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Dang it, that should have been "thee" not "the." Sheesh.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the comment! You are such a flattererer

      Delete
  27. This was hilarious. One of your best yet and that's saying something. Also: I fell in love with your wife. Multiple times. I will steal her and make her my same-sex domestic partner and we will have lots of cats. Wait. Did I just type that out loud?

    Lastly: Was that your voice? I hope so. I imagine you stretched across a computer desk trying to get your mouth real close to the computer microphone, doing take after take to get it juuuuuuuust so.

    "La! La! La!"

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    Replies
    1. Oh Mandy, please stop spying in my window-yes that was my voice, and yes I did like 20 tries-that is very embarassing that you intuited that-thank you for all your kind words!
      You might want to wait and steal her after the baby comes-right now, that would be kind of taking on a lot for yourself

      Delete
  28. Reddit is over rated and who's this Ellis person anyway!
    Chins up Gweenbrick your followers aren't going anywhere. We may be sloth-like in commenting but always read your posts!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chins up-how true....
      Don't knock Ellis-he's a beautiful man who one day will be my bride

      Delete
  29. I laughed until my stomach hurt. Honestly, no one writes quite like you. Your voice - and your illustrations - are completely unique. In the neverending bowl of sameness that is the internet, being unique is a pretty amazing thing.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you thank you Stephanie!
      And thanks for always sending people my way-I really appreciate it

      Delete
  30. Oh gods that was precious! I really didn't need to spit all of my wine onto my keyboard, but it was so worth it!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading! I like your picture of a bee coming to sting people

      Delete
  31. I love, love, love your site. And I luuurrrrve your drawings. So much, that I started illustrating my blog instead of stealing/um I mean, borrowing pictures from Google. They suck but I like them. Oh, I posted a comment on Mouthy Housewives and some mean lady slammed me (not much but she still hurt my feelings) so I'm thinking about removing it from my faves list. So THERE!
    Did I mention that I love your site?
    Elizabeth @ abouthalfabubbleoff.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Hi Elizabeth! I don't think your drawings suck at all! I liked them. Thanks for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it!

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  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  33. Ok, two things.

    1) as soon as I saw the word "reddit" I knew that whatever you were about to do was going to be a mistake. first of all, most of those people are creepy weirdos and you don't want them trolling your blog. second of all, those people are MEAN! (as you learned). Seriously, Gween. Online commenters are some of the meanest people in the world. It took me MONTHS to comment on Jezebel because I was so scared, but then I learned that they are all just nice feminist-y ladies (well, most of them at least).

    2) Why, oh why, can't I embed an image here of "Baby Sinclair" from Dinosaurs to compare it with your "please oh please" illustration? I'm sure it would be an exact match.

    That is all.

    P.S. I almost typed "love you!" to end this comment, but it seemed overbearing and needy.

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    1. Yeah, I know what you mean about online commenters. I have been VERY fortunate to only have awesome people and spammers comment here..I'll have to look up the baby-is that the not-the-momma character? Thanks for reading!

      Delete
  34. Oh my goodness, this was one of the funniest, most clever, flat-out hilarious posts I've seen in a long time! Love your wonderfully creative style and your artwork.

    Thanks for brightening my day.
    Following you on Twitter now too. :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Super Earthling! I never say anything useful on Twitter, but its cool to have followers there. I have to work on some one-liners to tweet

      Delete
  35. This was absolutely friggen hysterical. Totally relate to the whole Reddit thing. Reddit just sucks. In fact, my blog is too good for Reddit.

    To quote the Dos Equis man, I don't always follow bloggers on Twitter, but when I do, I make sure they make me laugh so hard I might choke on an olive.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Rob R, did the Dos Equis guy really say that? It sounds made up...

      Delete
  36. '100 things to do with fat husbands' HAHA!
    Brilliant. Screw those three people on reddit. They obviously have a shitty sense of humour.
    Your animation was enjoyable by the way, not quite keyboard cat, but pretty good ;)

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  37. Reddit's rules are impossibly strict. It's a wonder anyone gets anything published there. Please don't let that discourage you. I thought your cartoon was hilarious! Your newest Facebook friend,

    Elizabeth

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  38. I am late in the game, as always, but this was hugely funny! I get nowhere with Reddit. You have to be an oldtimer on there. They make it impossible to be seen otherwise. Reddit, Stumbleupon and Digg are very strict and really make it difficult for newbies.

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  39. :):):)...because i thought one wasn't enough!! anyway in light of my attempt at ass kissing please check out sticklulz.blogspot.com and tell me how awful it is!!!

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  40. Lol, made me laugh all over again! Love this post :)

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  41. I love the cartoons. I did a post about my complete lack of drawing ability. Very funny stuff. Getting started as a blogger is definitely easy, but getting recognized and read is not so easy.

    WG

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  42. Ha! I thought Bumble bee was totally going to be another type of game. It's tough finding a niche of readers, which is really kind of weird when there are 7 billion people in the world.

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    1. I was expecting something different for the Bumble Bee game too.

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    2. I am curious as to what you guys were expecting from the game. Or maybe I am not, in case it was something ewwy.

      Delete
  43. I'm new here...courtesy of Dude Write. And I must say, my cheesy little cartoon drawings are no match for this. Funny guy you are! And I think Mr Gweenbrick needs to man up! lol

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for visiting, Workingdan! Yes, I would say there is a definite need for me to man up.

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  44. Hahahaa dude that was hilarious. Reddit part cracked me up and then I was hooked. Thanks to DudeWrite for bringing me here!

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  45. Holy crap. How did I miss this post back in April. So funny!

    And you are very talented at drawing the LOLz.

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  46. I'm speechless. That was fucking hilarious.

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