Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Throw away the trash








He always does it anyway.





Then he scrambles them up in an awkward fashion and tries to pretend everything is okay.


 I am telling all this to Lulu, pouring out my heart, and she begins to laugh.



"What are you laughing about??" I scream at her, "The pain of a man stuck in a rudderless life, adrift forever in a sea of people who won't cover their own nakedness???"


"I'm laughing at that man in the wheelchair. He fell down. In Forest Gump. He fell down like this. Look, look, he said-"

33 comments:

  1. I think she's allowed to laugh at a man falling out of a wheelchair. You know, like how only black people can really call each other 'brothas'...it's a handicapped thing.

    Also people who say that working with special ed kids is like pissing in the wind need to get hit in the face everyday with an infected flacid peener. What you do is awesome, even if only for the cheer comedy of it.

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    1. lol @ only black people can call each other "brothas"...nice little chuckle.

      but i totally agree--teaching special ed is definitely not pissing in the wind. that's ridiculous. these stories matter! and of course, everyone's entitled to education, regardless of how they learn :)

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    2. What is that called, when people of a group are the only ones who can call each other stuff? Is it infected flaccid peeners? No...that doesn't sound right....

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  2. The one and only time a child with autism that I worked with laughed appropriately was when I got t-boned by a giant dog after I had gotten him off the bus. The dog came out of nowhere, rammed me from the side, and sent me sprawling in the mud while he cavorted and danced on my face, slobbering and drooling and having the time of his life (the dog, not the child. Though all activities are mutually exchangeable). The child paused in his determined walk into the classroom, cocked his head to the side, and burst out laughing, laughing so hard he was clutching his sides and practically wetting himself.

    And I had to stand up and say, "Yes, that was funny... Dani fell down... ha ha ha. We laugh when Dani falls down. Ha ha ha. Did Dani fall down? It's funny when Dani falls down. Ha ha ha."

    Sigh.

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    1. No offense, but my guess would be that it IS funny when Dani falls down, only because it is pretty funny when anyone falls down. Falling down people unless they are falling down from a medical emergency are by their very nature funny. I fell off a Hay Maze mountain holding my three year old and I bet it was funny to everyone who saw it.

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    2. just an fyi: It's only funny when OTHER people fall down. If I'd seen you fall off a hay maze mountain I would have pointed and laughed like it was my JOB. But when *I* fall down?

      Not. Funny.

      //gavel

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  3. You're not lost. You're right there. Look there, in the Sea of Ennui on a boat made of disquiet.

    There ya go.

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    1. Favorite comment so far...but I'm still reading....

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    2. Yep, I was trying to think of what to say and The Jules has it. Nice spotting Marianne.
      Sorry Gween - we're just talking amongst ourselves here...

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    3. I found me! Plus the Sea of Ennui is like something off of a Yes album cover. Thank you.

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  4. The kids in special ed are not learning from you, YOU are learning from them.................... (I know, very profound).

    **Although I did throw that theory out the window when on my 2nd day of substitute teaching, I said to the little girl (special ed) that I was to be helping all day: "How are you? How is my favorite student in the whole school?" with sunshine and sincerity in my voice, only to have her reply, "I wish YOU were DEAD." Made me re-think that 3rd day of subsitute teaching, let me tell ya'.

    xxo
    MOV

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    1. I cry foul! You signed a non-disclosure! MOOOOV, I am telllllling.

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  5. So many favourite moments in this post - one of them being the comment you made on drawing women's clothing lol...

    Any sort of teaching job is hard - and I can only imagine what special ed must be like.

    And the flatterer says - you're high style!

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    1. Thank you, special ed is not hard as long as you have a healthy supply of rubber gloves and are adept at breathing through your mouth.

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  6. Studying women's clothing may get you in trouble.

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    1. I'll steer clear of any intimate apparel, as I cannot forsee a need to draw such items for this blog.

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  7. "The burden of the static manboy is the disquiet mind." - deep. (I originally wrote the two words "very rich", but thought that might be misinterpretted so I changed it to "deep".)

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    1. You like that one? For some reason it popped in my head while I was at the thrift store today. Something about the smell of sandaled feet and secondhand BO....gets my quotables flowing everytime

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  8. Gweenie - Your sh*t is always great over here, but I think your commenters are some of the best in the blogosphere. You've attracted smart AND funny! That's gotta tell you something. Sorry about my following your blog, I unfortunately cause your average reader's IQ to drop a few points. I'll put down the People Magazine now.

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    1. Shush your mouth, you are as smart as any of them. Except maybe the guy who keeps urging me to view his life-changing video on Youtube. That man is devastatingly intelligent.

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  9. Doncha just want to punch those people who do that "oh your so wonderful for doing that job" right in the face.

    No - I'm as mad as they are, and if not I soon will be.

    Which is why I don't do it anymore, I was mad enough to start with. And I hadn't got to the point of discussing the meaning of my life with those I worked with....unlike you it seems.

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    1. It took me a second to understand what you meant by "mad" here-then I remembered you were using the royal "mad", as in bonkers.
      But yes, a certain amount of insanity does creep in after while.
      If you ever saw a video of how I act during the day, you would think I was indistinguishable from the children I serve.

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  10. You are amazing. How do you do that? Coming here is like therapy. I want a book of you.

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    1. Funny you should say that Julie, because I (talk about fake book deal in a way that goes on far too long and isn't funny).
      Nope, there is no book of me. (saves time, ends comment gracefully, pats self on back for showing restraint, punches self and says oh darn for dragging out part of comment in paretheses, still unable to wrap it up, typing endlessly, o god someone help me.....)

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  11. I feel your pain, just not publicly. Actually, this is public. Just don't tell anyone. I don't want to get back on the meds.

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    1. You are safe here, just don't get too freaky.

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  12. My husband works in a similar role. Reading your posts makes me really hope he washes his hands properly before he comes home :/

    Another stirling post! Particulary like:
    "The burden of the static manboy..."

    Move over Heaney!

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    1. Lainey your comment about washing hands cracked me up.
      So glad you liked it!

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  13. I'm thankful for this post. For a while there I was confused about whether Lulu and Lamocha were the same girl. Now I understand.

    I agree with Marianne, you have some high quality commenters (myself not withstanding), and part of the enjoyment I find in this blog is from reading your comments and interactions with your audience.

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  14. I think I need to get "The burden of the static manboy is the disquiet mind." tattooed on my chest - except I'm scared of needles...

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