I am sitting here so devoid of ideas that I swear to you I just spent at least three minutes daydreaming about which of the three people in this room, myself and two students, has the hairiest forearms.
The girl nearby is a close second, but I think mine are the hairiest.
This is one of those rare contests that hold no joy for the winner.
Here was a blog.
A blog almost a year old, a blog of such profound substance that to abandon it now would be like eating a fortune cookie with that slip of prophetic wisdom still tucked away inside.
To be honest, I have not been feeling myself lately.
A string of illnesses have kept me in a state of drippy cough spasm, never bold enough to venture too far from a bathroom.
At the height of fever I had a dream that my father had installed a hot tub on the roof of his house.
He said he had found it in the garbage at his work and he invited me to get in it.
I remember standing there and thinking, "Well, I have a swimsuit on."
I wish I could recall where I put the emphasis in that thought, because it could be benign or a little creepy.
The other night, I couldn't sleep, and I was sure I had a good post idea.
It involved the floating spirit of Uncle Joey from Full House coming down to give me words of wisdom.
He admitted his career had disintegrated to the point of having to play Smee at Disneyland's Peter Pan-themed attraction, and then he had tried to convince me that in my own life, I was playing Smee, and he had this whole thing about how it was all metaphor and I was always running from the virile and mysterious Rufio.
I began to draw all of this and then I hated it.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about how I spent a whole day performing a musical I was making up on the spot for the enjoyment of my then-new bride.
It was called "Perfect Skin."
It was a magical piece of vunderspanx and I regret that I never wrote it down.
I tried to do a post about that, but again I felt sick and nothing was funny.
Here's something: did you know it's really, really hard to make money from blogging?
I should know, because I haven't even tried.
But I am so dead broke that I should spend every second of free time I have looking for jobs instead of making blog weewee.
If anyone out there has any good ideas for how I can totally sell out and make money off of Gweenbrick, please let me know.
Of course, it's a bad time to monetize your blog when you are just realizing you are running out of creative juice.
But maybe that's just the endless weeks of illness talking.
Thank you all, new readers and old, for your continued support, your comments, your incredible flattery.
Nothing I have ever worked on in my life has brought me more satisfaction, which might actually be a very depressing thing to admit.
Not sure about that.