The evil that men do when they are little

If you were to graph the amount of wickedness in a child:

 However, I did have a few moments of mild evil.


Like when my friend Philip came to visit me.


We played hide and seek.


While I was seeking him, I took a moment to tell my mom how much I did not want Philip to be there, and inquire as to when he was going home.


Philip was really good at hiding.

I told my neighborhood friends I was getting a Nintendo.


We all counted down the days together.


When it finally came, they came rushing over to my house with huge smiles on their faces.

When my dad got a new Audi for work, my friend and I decided to wash it squeaky clean using abrasive mud and gravel.

When I was younger, I would always try to offer my dad some comfort by saying:

Of course, children being evil, this inevitably lead to:

Of course, now that I have children of my own, the Karmic Wheel has revolved around to kick me quite soundly in the ass.