Friday, December 2, 2011

The evil that men do when they are little

If you were to graph the amount of wickedness in a child:

 However, I did have a few moments of mild evil.

Like when my friend Philip came to visit me.

We played hide and seek.

While I was seeking him, I took a moment to tell my mom how much I did not want Philip to be there, and inquire as to when he was going home.

Philip was really good at hiding.

I told my neighborhood friends I was getting a Nintendo.

We all counted down the days together.

When it finally came, they came rushing over to my house with huge smiles on their faces.

When my dad got a new Audi for work, my friend and I decided to wash it squeaky clean using abrasive mud and gravel.

When I was younger, I would always try to offer my dad some comfort by saying:

Of course, children being evil, this inevitably lead to:

Of course, now that I have children of my own, the Karmic Wheel has revolved around to kick me quite soundly in the ass.


  1. If you didn't make your kids wear beanies they wouldn't make you wear the cat as often.


  2. Alan-my son believes that his beanie hat makes him extra strong. It is cruel people like you who would attempt to convince him otherwise.

  3. Is there an extra invisible part of your child wickedness spectrum, because I've met some who are right in the ultra-violet.

  4. I'll have you know that I was FORCED to sing the Super Mario theme to make sure you transcribed it correctly and will be singing it FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE... >=(

  5. Love it!

    I know only too well the evil that men do when they are little. *sigh* (goes off to ingest a massive dose of horse tranquilizers, in order to carry on with the pain that is motherhood)

  6. Tom Petty, Gween? Really? Based on your picture, I had you pegged as a Cure guy. :(

  7. The Jules-the spectrum is infinitely expandable, as each generation seems to eclipse the last in its potential for evil.

    Jrose-that was the only part of this post I put any time into, and I still didn't get it right

    Lily-I thought you might appreciate a more mild look at childhood evil, to put your particular situation into perspective

    bigavocado-I knew it was something like that. is a "golf clap" a good or bad kind of clap?

    Kelly-basically all secular music was contraband for me, including the "Ghostbusters" soundtrack, and if you were to peg me as something, it would have been an "Eye of the Tiger" kind of guy.
    I liked the Cure a little, but he always sounded like he was crying, which got old after awhile-Tom Petty always sounded like he had a deviated septum, which somehow seemed more manageable

  8. Hi Gween, just want to say your mom looks like a neat person. I bet she and I could be best friends. (And I disagree with Kelly, I pegged you as a Depeche Mode kinda guy. So. Disillusioned.)

    and p.s. to lily (sorry to have a cross-conversation): one chapter in my book is titled "Painful". See? You and I are soul mates, along with Gweenbrick's mom.

  9. The child who speaks first in the last panel bears a likeness to Theodore Roosevelt, so you may want to check your families' records.

  10. ugh, teenagers are the worst form of humans. I remember those days all to well. Your sad father drawing conjured up images of years I wish to forget. Thanks a lot GweenBrick!

  11. When my son was a kid his best mate would go and get a new game and often knock our door for him with it still unopened.

    When son got a new game he would shut himself away with it and refuse to play it with his friend until he had played it enough to be sure to win.

    I'd forgotten about that, you reminded me :)
    Well it was a very long time ago.

  12. MOV-she is a neat person I guess. I didn't do her nightgown no favors though.


    Trisharella-sorry, it was actually supposed to be me has a 13 year old, hence the sporadic guido hairs

    dirtycowgirl-man I guess I was stirring up bad memories.

  13. I researched TR after seeing your "bully!" - I found out there were/are five in a row, the most recent one Theodore Roosevelt V, born in 1976.

  14. Not at all, I used to think it was hilarious.

  15. that's what you get for the Audi stunt

  16. Gia-seems that way

    dirtycowgirl-I knew you found it sickly amusing

    elliot-thanks for the follow!!

  17. Just sprayed coffee all over my laptop with the Earl Grey comment. Priceless!

  18. ok so I am too serious (not that THAT ever helped me) and this makes me laugh. This is pretty creative stuff. You are the anti The Z Page...and that is good

  19. nice work

  20. Is Phillip hiding in the oven? Also, did your mom smoke the earl grey?

  21. I have a 'get out of my room' one at the moment... Aaarrrgggh

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