I have sad news.
When I was younger, I had a gerbil that died when its lower teeth grew into the top of it's head.
In that experience, somewhere, is a metaphor for how I feel on this day.
Earlier this week, I did a post when I should not have.
I try to only post when I have an idea that strikes me as funny, but I went ahead and forced one anyway.
The result was not good:
In the course of that train wreck, I inadvertently singled out someone we will call "Cynthia".
I just thought her comment, which will not be repeated here, was funny.....and I couldn't stop thinking it was funny, even when it was not really funny to me anymore.
Also, I invented an unflattering, totally fictional depiction of what Cynthia might look like:
I meant no harm.
Really, I have just been longing to use the line "A-LA PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES" from Mumford the magician on Sesame Street, as I recently read it in a bed-time story to one of my children.
That happens to me sometimes; I will obsess over one dumb thing and try to build a whole post around it.
Apparently, Cynthia did not appreciate any of it.
She unfollowed me.
Now, to those people out there who have a million readers, the loss of one follower is like losing a penny in a couch; you really want to look for it because it was your lucky penny, but there is no way your sticking your hand in that nasty couch.
But for me, and my under-read brothers and sisters, the loss of even one reader is just....just nauseating.
Seriously. When I saw she was gone, I had to put down the loaf of banana bread I was gnawing on, because I wasn't hungry for a second.
Thankfully though, I was able to eat it again after a minute.
It was really great!
Then I wandered into the school kitchen to eat some more stuff, and drink all the coffee before anyone else could have any.
I passed a student named Carla, the one that is supposed to be Jeffrey's girl, and she smiled at me.
"You no dick?" she asked me.
"No-o-o, you no har dick today."
I took a sick day a week ago. She must have just noticed I was back.
She asks questions all the time, mostly the same ones, and when you try to answer, she always begins her interruption by saying "No-o-o-o-" in a marble-mouthed whine. It is......very endearing.
"Yep, I'm not sick anymore. I wasn't really sick, I just-"
"No-o-o-o- my hair cock, nice. Wash my head?"
And I say 'Yes!' because I do not understand her, and I do not want to be kept from whatever is worth eating in the cupboards.