Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I am sorry for hogging the truth

Do you ever worry that your blog is becoming one long fat joke?
I do sometimes.

The truth is, I have been lying.

This is what I really look like:

And I have also been lying about the distribution of my teeth.

Can't finish drawing....not funny to me.....

I have discovered that I cannot keep a post going unless I am amused by it.
Otherwise, it just deflates and farts around the room in unpredictable circles.

Let's try something else.

I'll show you the progression of a conversation I had with Jeffrey the other day. He put his sweatshirt hood up and said 

Errr....nope. I'm still not laughing.
Let me think of something that will make me laugh right now...

Nice try, brain.
Didn't even crack a smile.


  1. Not only did I crack a smile but while giggling at my desk, I managed to get weird looks from my co-workers! Great pics! :)

  2. I like how white your butt is.

    Wait. That sounded wrong.

  3. (top pic) Mighty Thor, tis you!!!!

    Even if you're not impressed with your own work, know that many other are...except me. I thought it was crap.

    Truthfully, you always always manage to make me do more than crack a smile with your posts. :)

  4. I cracked more than a smile - I cracked my whole body... Sorry, that didn't make any sense at all.

  5. lilkittin-thats all I ask, that people who read my blog get weird looks
    mandy fish-I had to downplay how white it actually is or it would have just blended into the background
    lily-oh I agree with you, it was crap. I have manic periods where I can post things no matter how stupid and still crack myself up, and then major down periods where posting on the blog is as painful as making small talk with people I knew from high school. But I still do it, even though blogsperts advise against posting just to post-I guess it's just to torture the poor people who are so nice to me and take the time to read this
    krouth-please send me a picture of what this cracked body phenomenon looks like

  6. Wait, what is that last one supposed to be even?
    But I cracked a smile though.

  7. The half boy picture made me snort inappropriately with laughter. I really hope that's not what you actually look like. I'd miss that unibrow, we've become quite close.

  8. I was thinking "Copper Tone" advertisement, but wouldn't you need a hairbow?

  9. AllenTesch-esbboston got it, it is supposed to be the Copper Tone ad, but I drew it in like 5 seconds.
    Mary-someday, when you least expect it, a strange envelope will arrive in your mailbox. Inside will be clippings from my unibrow. Please do not be creeped out at that time, or tell your husband. But please glue them into your own eyebrows so I can be with you always.

    1. Years ago a guy who had a crush on me shaved off his eyebrows and gave them to me in an envelope as a courting gift. I am totally serious.

  10. I'm thinking that all the Jeffrey stories should have illustrations accompanying them.

  11. Meaning, you should try and draw all of Jeffrey's whimsical remarks.

  12. wowza! that is what you really look like? and my pic on my blog is exactly what I look like too! coincidence?


  13. If mary is getting a unibrow in the post what can the rest of us expect ???

    Bearing in mind that I'm your pimp....

  14. Gweenbrick, I was just kidding, you know I love you and everything that you do!!

    To prove it, look out your window. See that woman there? The one with the unkempt hair, holding a candle aloft, whilst fondling a picture of you? That's me that is...yep, I'm still stalking you...

  15. I feel like Jeffrey made total sense here...other than putting his hood up to make the comment. King + kid obviously equals prince. And blood and vampire hand in hand. He might be on to something with this Vampire King.

    And yes, all Jeffrey posts should be illustrated!!!

  16. I think this is what makes you a good writer. I am the opposite and therefore probably doomed. Once I start working on something, I can't stop. The crappy idea completely takes over my brain, like some kind of brain-stealing virus.

    Or like this comment. Starts off helpful, ends up talking about weird brain viruses.

  17. supercrazyrobots- if I had more time, I would draw more of what he says, the imagery he comes out with is completely bizarre

    MOV-are you a princess of power?

    dirtycowgirl- you can have a warm glass of my bathwater from the next time I take a bath which might be never because our tub is very small and my children got really grossed out the one time I tried to lay in it and I was ashamed of my body

    lily- Oh I knew you were kidding, but please get out of my driveway

    clarellen22-once you enter into that forest of twisted logic there is no going back, so please tread carefully; only high-functioning autism lies that way

    Haley-you are so nice! I think your brain stealing virus makes for some very funny posts, I wish I could contract it somehow

  18. Oh Gweenbrick. This is just the laugh I needed before my last vicodin of the day. I'm starting to feel like House.