Friday, October 7, 2011

American Pickers

I don't know how familiar you are with the special education population, but in many ways they are just like regular folk, except with no 'off' switch.

Take picking scabs, for example:

Plankus stops. Eventually.

A student like Jeffrey, though, picks a scab until he makes his way into an artery.

One day, Jeffrey comes in and his hand looks like this:

"What happened?" I ask him.
"Have you ever heard of toaster ovens?" he answers.

Two days later:
"What happened now?"
"Have you ever heard of Pop-tarts, because it was stuck in that toaster oven."
"What?" He looks at me like I am crazy.
I realized it was the same injury, just....manually expanded.

"Jeffrey, you cannot pick that scab. Don't do it."
"I won't" he says.
(Looks at hand)
(Looks at me)
(Back to hand, longingly now)
"I'll just rub it gently. I'll just rub it gently at home."
(Looks at me)
(Looks at my hand)
"Like dis," he says.
He softly runs his hand up and down my forearm.

On an unrelated note. HI to my new followers!! I am so glad you are here. If you comment, I will try to reply in a timely fashion.
I don't know where you came from, or how you found me, but it is very exciting for me to have more readers! Thanks so much!


  1. Thanks for the humor GB! You are great!

  2. Steamme Up Kid posted about you on FB. Since I follow her religiously, I knew that I would like you.

  3. I too, took Steamy's advice and came to check you out. I read your entire blog (great, now I have to wait for more), and I have to say I am hopelessly in love with your dark, deadpan humor and the sharp, well-written way in which it is delivered.
    I want more Jeffrey posts.
    The pizza place I used to work at was next door to a "special needs" facility, so I too had quite a few "Jeffreys" of my own. They would come in on a daily basis and guzzle about 15 XL refills of Diet Coke (Everyone's favorite, I guess). It was fun.

  4. They really don't pay you enough. And you don't need to respond to all of my comments. I know you love me in a "I never met you but I read your blog" kind of way.

  5. Potcherboy-Cool! That was so nice of becky to do that! I will have to hijack someone's Facebook and see what she wrote.
    Olga-Awesome-That is so funny, almost every student I have ever worked with loves Diet Coke-I think Coca-cola is over-looking a major marketing demographic here
    Marianne-would that be 'blove'?

  6. It's funny but just the other day, I was saying to a friend that by the end of the year, you will have a massive following and look, it's starting to happen.

    Of course (sob) I'm very happy (sob) for you. You deserve (weep) much recognition. Just don't (now crying like a newborn) forget The little people like me (now wailing like a banshee) who are left behind chocking on your dust.

    Very funny (cough cough) post by the way. (choke choke) :0)

  7. Yay !! You will be a blog of note before too long.

    I wish it were possible for us to recommend who gets that accolade - some of the ones that do are just rubbish, but they are picked by google employees.

  8. lily-no make cry. No following massive, just few more. Miss you most of all Scarecrow.

    dirtycowgirl-that would be cool but I don't really think it would happen. I noticed a lot of blogs that get blog of note actually look like the authors put some effort into them. Mine kind of looks like I wrote it while camping on the toilet.

  9. Hahahahaha

    You camp on your toilet ?
    Must be a very small tent.

  10. Steamme is possibly my most favorite blogger so when she recommends, I follow. Like, if she said "hey you should wear this lime green thong, it will really bring out your butt wobbles" I would totally do it. Don't tell her though, for all I know she has a whole truck load of thongs.

  11. I have butt wobbles too, with or without thong.
    Mostly without, unless it's my birthday.

    ....I just grossed myself out.

  12. I didn't notice Jeffrey's watch at first. Awesome.

  13. supercrazyrobots-the best part of drawing these stupid pictures is trying to think of little details to put in to amuse myself-thanks for noticing!

  14. "Oh God, get me off this wrist!"