One Friday a month, our class sees a movie.
Today we saw the best movie I have ever seen in my whole life.
It was called ABDUCTION, and it starred this guy Taylor Lautner.
I only knew who he was because some of the girls in my class cut out pictures of him from magazines and shove them down the front of their pants or in their mouths.
Did you know Lautner auditioned for WILLOW?
Yep, he was supposed to play Madmartigan.
But Val Kilmer threatened to keep making fart noises with his armpit until they gave him the part.
So Lautner played the character seen here:
Which might have been for the best, because something about WILLOW left a deep impact on Val Kilmer, and after that he wanted to be Madmartigan in all of his movies.
uhhh....that's the only proof I have of that last statement.
Anyways, I really liked in the movie ABDUCTION when Taylor Lautner made this face:
Because then I knew he was MAD.
And when he made this face
I knew he was SAD.
But when he was MAD and SAD he made this face
And when he was GLAD
He is from the New School of acting, where the amount you open your mouth determines the emotion you are expressing.
So when he kills someone
So the movie is real good.
I won't give anything away, but let's just say its about a "high school" boy that everyone calls "Kid" who beats up his only black friend, watches the neighbor girl makeout with her cat, finds out his dad lost him in a poker match to a Russian chef who*SPOILER ALERT* wears an eyepatch through the whole movie *SPOILER ALERT*.
The movie ends with Lautner and another guy taking their shirts off, giving each other back rubs and the shivers, and then transforming into weremooses.
As the credits roll, they rub the velvet off their antlers on an old elm tree.