After an intense period of self-evaluation, I have concluded:
Since it is a good idea to self-diagnose, I will declare myself Attention-Desolate, subject to a state of Free-Roaming, Vaporous, Full Torso Anxiety; said anxiety known to trigger spells of Selective Mutism, chiefly in the company of +/- 3 other human beings.
This is why I have no friends.
This is why I cannot stay a cooking blog, nor a crafting blog, nor a daily newspaper comic strip.
This is why if I wrote a book, I would skip to the good parts, or if I painted a nude I would have trouble getting past a cartoonish representation of a hairy man butt.
This is why all my brilliant posts end right before the brilliant part-