Oh Diploma, you silly twit

I finally received my Masters of Library Science in the mail.


What do you do with a useless Master's Degree?

Throw it at your useless Bachelor's Degree!!!!!!


Yaay!! Fun! Kids, do try this at home. Do it with all your silly certificates, awards, and diplomas-it's all paper! Useless paper with stupid cursive and gaudy embossing-
Its the paper you pay for until the day you die!!!
Yay college!
Yay learndding!
Its like, soooooooo worth it!

I am in no way bitter.
At all.

Product Review #4: Rockin' Ricky Repost for no reason

This is a "Rockin' Ricky" by Nikko America, Inc. I was really disappointed with this right off the bat because it smelled like cigarette smoke. Please do not smoke around fine collectibles.


There are a couple of really interesting things going on with the packaging here:

The claim "Unbelievable!" is very confident.

I like it that Ricky turns soundwaves into dance, but life-like is doing his whimsical design a disservice. 

I don't have Swingin' Suzy, so my excitement is one half of its apparent potential.

I really like this claim and I would love to see it move into widespread usage.

After reading all of the packaging, I was ready for Rockin' Ricky to blow me away. If you are like me, the first thing you wanted to know was if he had eyes.

No, he doesn't.

Ricky.

I was ready for Ricky to turn sound into fun:

Something is happening here, but I feel like I don't know what it is, and I have a sense that Nikko might have mislead me.

Br-Br-Brain Damage

After an intense period of self-evaluation, I have concluded:

Since it is a good idea to self-diagnose, I will declare myself Attention-Desolate, subject to a state of Free-Roaming, Vaporous, Full Torso Anxiety; said anxiety known to trigger spells of Selective Mutism, chiefly in the company of +/- 3 other human beings.


This is why I have no friends.


This is why I cannot stay a cooking blog, nor a crafting blog, nor a daily newspaper comic strip.

This is why if I wrote a book, I would skip to the good parts, or if I painted a nude I would have trouble getting past a cartoonish representation of a hairy man butt.


This is why all my brilliant posts end right before the brilliant part-

gameboy

 

 

 

 

 

Porch Comic

And more stupid

It was either draw this or clean the kitchen and do Ebay work.

Back to stupid

I can't stand most newspaper comics, but they are harder to do than I thought.

No, it's a craft blog!

Upon further analysis of the Blog of note phenomenon, I have discovered that I was premature in declaring this a food blog. Further layers of bias have been revealed, and these have brought to light a new direction I must take.

Gweenbrick is now a craft blog.


I will begin by putting together a care package for a special someone in my life using classic fixtures of the crafting world.

The first craft is the homemade ash tray.

You can use the medium of your choice, but I have elected to use Super Sculpy, because you can cook it and then do stuff to it.

Carefully shape the clay into a bowl shape, but do not worry too much about making it perfect. Half of the charm of crafting comes from a certain level of imperfection.

Now turn on your oven and bake it.


While your ash tray is cooking, begin the second half of the project: the pine cone bird feeder.

Apparently, pine trees around here are not giving out pine cones right now, so I had to settle for a sprig I busted off one of the branches.

Take whatever approximation of a pine cone you ended up with and roll it around in some peanut butter.

Then cover it in bird seed. 
I didn't have any bird seed, so I substituted goldfish food instead. This added lots of color and a curious smell that will probably attract all kinds of birds.

Now put a hanger on it; I used a twist tie but you can improvise.

 Now it's time to make the box you will place your homemade treasures in.

I colored a cardboard box with black sharpie, and then used the classic glue lettering with glitter highlights approach.

Unfortunately, my cheap glue ran like water.

Make sure to write your name on the bottom of the box so you know which one is yours.

Oh! Your ash tray is probably done.

Carefully take it out of the oven and wait patiently to decorate it.
I burned my fingers a little trying to write on it too soon, so please be careful.

Now when it comes to finishing the ash tray, try to make it as personalized, as heartfelt as possible.
This care package is for my Dad, so I wrote "For Your Butt!" on his ash tray.

And from a different angle:

Looking good!

Now place your accomplishments carefully into your homemade box and give them to that special someone with love in your heart.

Thanks for reading!
You can buy any of my crafts created here today from my etsy store.

Corny Face

We all have our favorite cook books, our go-to culinary tome we pull off the shelf when searching for something to make for dinner.

Mine is a concise little volume titled "Silly Snacks".

This cookbook features quick, easy recipes with a playful twist.

Like "Green Meanies" for example:

Oh my...just delightful!

For today's featured taste treat, I have selected "Corny Faces":

This simple recipe is both easy and hilarious.

Let us begin.
To start with, you need a green plate and a tortilla bent in half, like this:

Then you need cheese.

Now let me tell you a fantastic secret all good chefs know: the secret of Equivalent Exchange.

Basically, Equivalent Exchange means if you do not have the exact ingredient you need, you can subsitute its equivalent. This could be its equivalent in taste, color, texture, or even description. 

For example, I have no cheese available to me, but I do have cream cheese.

Always check the date:

Good enough!

Pop the top and shovel it out.

Don't use that black/gray area on the right, though.

You should now have this:

Here the recipe calls for cucumber slices, but having none, I again employ Equivalent Exchange (EE...V..um..CH) and use a jalapeno pepper.

I also do not have olives, but uncooked black beans in a little pile provide the same shine and circle shape of the absent olive.

At this point, the recipe calls for shredded carrots to make the humorous "eye brows". 

I do not have a grater and my one knife is too spicy now from chopping the jalapeno, but I did have some Play-doh scissors to shred the carrots with.

I didn't really get too much shred there, so I will just use the mangled remains of the whole carrots.

Now here is where things get a little tricky for me.
No pickles on hand, and nothing even pickle shaped.
I had to take a bit of a leap with this one, but I feel confident that I nailed it:

It's a pickled chicken foot!
It's pickley, it's nose-shaped-it's near perfect!

Sprinkle with one of your favorite seasonings (mine is glitter), and dig in.

Corny Face-the comfort food that smiles with you.
Thanks for reading!