Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Product Review #8: The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

In the year 1977, Carol Moran woke up and decided children's books needed more naked bottoms.
No one stopped her.

She cloaked her madness and naked resolve in a guise of respectability. Citing the growing lack of appreciation for great literature she observed in the young children of the 70s, Carol Moran decided to launch a series of books titled To Children, With Respect. This ambitious project was to team classic literature with illustrations that would bring otherwise moldy narratives to life.

There is so much here for a child to ask his mommy about.

 This is the part in the famous poem when Gilligan and his buddies take Ecstasy and tell each other how they feel.

 Yeah, yeah purple guy, we've all seen your foot between your butt cheeks trick.
 That's a lot of booties going to see Rapunzel.

Uncle Randy and his girlfriend from the city.

 Finally, a break from all the bottoms. Thanks, Carol.

 Unfortunately,  To Children, With Respect did not seem to make it past this volume. Or so my lack of research has led me to assume. 
Perhaps parents sensed Carol's sinister motives and stayed away from the book; only those damned liberal libraries had the gall to purchase it.


  1. I am pretty sure every single one of those illustrations would have given me nightmares as a child. That Carol lady is a masochist.

  2. this carol woman sounds like my mom...hmmm

  3. I wish I'd seen more bottoms when I was a kid.

  4. I had this volume as a child. I absolutely adored it.

  5. I have always thought that this was the best illustrated version of this tale, and preferred it to Dore's woodcuts. I read this version when I was five, and fancy enough I have had an extremely successful and normal life. Not everyone has a weak sense of self.
    Oh Gweenbrick, pathetic review, what more can I say.

    1. you know this was just a dumb joke review done one bored evening, right?

  6. I loved this book as a child and read it many times. Yeah the illustrations are bizarre but they drew me into the story. I was fascinated and frightened and intrigued--and read a classic poem probably 200 times.

    Thanks to this review I've found the name of the illustrator so I can find a copy for my kids. Thanks.

    1. Cool.Its not really a review. I was just being silly. But I have gotten so many emails about that book and how I was unkind to it. I meant no harm to the book at all.