Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Painful Moments

When your job is as boring as mine is, your mind wanders far and wide over the past events of your life. You might consider dramatic moments, turning points that set the entirety of your life on a different course. Or subtle things, a nostalgic odor, a song you can't get out of your head, a little gap in the teeth of a loved one. You might do that, not me. My bored memory likes to dig deep into a folder titled "Painful Moments That Involved Me".
Like when I went to hug my uncle and inexplicably went for his lower midsection/upper pelvis area. He is taller than me, but not to a degree that would warrant such an odd-looking waist embrace. I wonder what he thought then, or what were the thoughts of those around us.
I have enough problems with hugs, handshakes, and all those physical greetings as it is.
In college, the men were fond of commencing a dialog with what can only be called a "bro-snap", wherein they would clutch each others hands in such a way that when they pulled back towards themselves, it would make a loud snapping sound. Protocol dictated that if the shared snap failed, the two men would snap their seperate fingers to still obtain the desired sound.
For some reason, I was really bad at the bro-snap.
One time I tore and tore at this guy's big mitt, hoping in vain to make even a squeak, but no sound came. Our hands were locked together in a dance of tugging awkwardness. Finally he broke free and made the obligatory air snap. "Geez guy, you almost pulled my hand off" he said. I forgot to snap my fingers and I have often wondered if he was offended by that.

1 comment:

  1. I'm dying!!! Students are looking at me like I've lost my mind as I laugh wildly at my computer screen. Gweenbrick is the best thing to be added to my work day in a long time.